Tag Archives: Competition

GAAPS Actuarial – ISO accredited

GAAPS are very pleased to announce that we have been accredited with the ISO certification following a detailed inspection of our working recruitment methods in the actuarial profession.

The report which took place in early February highly praised our up to date audits and systems. Findings from both the internal and management review led to confidence that the systems will be well maintained. Unfortunately the recruitment industry has many companies who are sales led, rather than based upon sound processes and integrity. At GAAPS Actuarial Recruitment we have always prided ourselves on the robust processes and systems that we work to.

As well as the positive comments included within the report about our recruitment systems, our staff were commended for their knowledge of the actuarial industry, their specific roles and their responsibilities.

Kindle Competition Winner Announced

Chaim Coutts presents a Kindle and bottle of Champagne to Maurice Passman, the UK winner of our recent GAAPS Actuarial competition. Maurice Passman and Chaim Coutts

The Australian winner did not want any publicity and we value his confidentiality.

Competition: Win a Kindle 3G

Register or update you details on the GAAPS website for the chance to win a Kindle 3G.

From 1st December 2010 till 31st January 2011, all eligible entrants who register or update their details on the GAAPS website will automatically be entered into a free prize draw.

Due to the restrictions of gaming laws entry to the prize draw is limited to residents of the UK and Australia. There will be future events for international participants. If you do not live in the UK or Australia it is still worth registering so that we will be able to notify you of these events.

The competition is open to actuaries and those with ‘an actuarial connection’ over the age of 18. You will need to demonstrate your ‘actuarial connection’ when completing your registration.

Entry is subject to the full terms and conditions. There will be two separate prize draws, one for UK residents and one for Australia residents.

Download the full terms and Conditions (UK).
Download the full terms and conditions (Australia).
Click here to register.

Innovative Distribution Channels

Which innovations will impact the financial industry and the banking and insurance sectors in 2009? How do the innovative capabilities of the UK compare to the rest of the world and how effective are the latest IT solutions across the financial sector?

Three major figures in the financial industry – Dr Geraldine Kaye, Jacques Kemp and Husamettin Dogramaci answer these questions and reveal the secrets to using the internet to increase revenues and develop closer relationships with clients.

Innovative Distribution Channels

Register for actuarial jobs at www.GAAPS.com

The Best Actuarial Jokes – Competition Results

Many thanks to all the actuaries that took the time to enter into our competition to choose the best actuaries’ joke.

We are truly heartened to see that actuaries from around the world know that the best solution today’s economic gloom is not really quantitative easing but a few old fashioned jokes.

We were inundated with entries and deciding who should get the tickets to “The Night of Actuaries” event in Paris was not an easy task.

The judging was the subject of perhaps too many meetings at GAAPS and plenty of heated debate.

The winning jokes are…

• Q: What is the difference between an Actuary and an Accountant?
A: About 25 grand!

• Two people are flying in a hot air balloon and realize they are lost. They see a man on the ground, so they navigate the balloon to where they can speak to him. They yell to him, “Can you help us – we’re lost.” The man on the ground replies, “You’re in a hot air balloon, about two hundred feet off the ground.” One of the people in the balloon replies to the man on the ground, “You must be an actuary. You gave us information that is accurate, but completely useless.” The actuary on the ground yells to the people in the balloon, “You must be in marketing.” They yell back, “yes, how did you know?” The actuary says,” well, you’re in the same situation you were in before you talked to me, but now it’s my fault.”

• Question: What is an actuary’s favourite dessert?
Answer: Pi

• f(x)=6x+3 walks into a bar.
“Got any sandwiches?” f(x)=6x+3 asks the barman.
“Sorry,” he replies, “We don’t cater for functions.”

• Q: How many accountants does it take to find the present value of an annuity?
A: Three. One to determine the amount of each payment, one to figure out which account to put the answer in, and one to go ask an actuary how to calculate it.

• All the functions of x are at a party. They are all having fun, dancing and mingling except exp(x). Exp(x) is standing alone in the corner looking miserable. The other functions notice this and approach him they ask him “exp(x) why don’t you integrate with us?” and he replied “because it makes no difference!”

• Top 6 things you will never hear an actuary say:
6. I have a hot date tonight.
5. I got a lot out of that marketing meeting.
4. Our prices are too high.
3. Just throw out that large loss; it’ll never happen again.
2. We’ve got to take more chances here.
1. We can expect your favourable trend to continue indefinitely.

• Q: Why does a heavy metal fan want to become an actuary?
A: He wants to be paid for predicting death and destruction.

• A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of £500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is £10,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of £50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, “I have this situation in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn’t it?”

• Q: Where did the actuary go on his holidays?
A: To Q-Ba!

• After the actuary failed his exam, he started thinking of quitting the exams altogether and becoming a professional fisherman. But then he discovered that he couldn’t live on his net income.

Some of the winners will be making their way to Paris for the Night of Actuaries (read The GAAPS Blog for updates on the party). All other winners will soon be cracking open the champagne.


La Nuit des Actuaires – Party in Paris

Each year, the Kactu’z Association, a not-for-profit organisation established in 2003, hosts an event designed to assemble all members of the French Actuarial Profession in Paris.

Membership of the Kactu’z association includes actuaries at every stage of their career; from young professionals and students of all through to those in the most senior positions. The aim of the evening is to bring together all levels of the actuarial movement in a warm and festive atmosphere.

The yearly event is attracting an ever-growing number of professionals and the next one will take place on Saturday 28th March 2009 from 20:00 – 05:00, in the prestigious west Parisian hall: Le Pavillon Dauphine.

The night begins with a cocktail reception for sponsors of the night and their guests from 20:00 to 22:00, followed by an exciting evening with several halls offering different festivities, shows, presentations and animations.

Don’t miss out on the Night of Actuaries and the opportunity to connect with a large part of the actuarial world and promote the image of your company whilst attending a spectacular gala.

This year, Kactu’Z is focusing on the interaction between sponsors and 3rd year actuarial students by means of:

  • A mailing list in order to facilitate contact with the actuarial students
  • A distinction made between sponsors and students during the cocktail reception.

Sophie Sicard, European consultant, leading GAAPS France, recognises the success and importance of last year’s event:

“It was a perfectly successful evening, both by the choice of the premises as well as the animations, but also by the immense possibility to meet actuaries at all levels. For example, I had the pleasure to exchange a few words with Prof. Carla Angela, president of the Italian Institute of Actuaries, guest of honour for that evening.”

GAAPS Actuarial is proud to be associated with the Parisian event as the only sponsor representing the field of specialised actuarial recruitment. On the night, Sophie will be joined by Lance Randles and Sima Varsani, GAAPS consultants based in London, who will be available to all throughout the night.

As GAAPS has 4 pairs of tickets to the “Night of Actuaries” we are running a competition to find the best actuarial jokers.

Send us your best actuarial jokes, the 4 funniest will win a pair of tickets to the ‘Night of Actuaries’ in Paris and their jokes will be published on the GAAPS website. 

If you are a winner you will have to organise your own transport and accommodation in Paris. If you are unable to come, then we will present you with a complimentary bottle of Champagne instead. 

For more details about the ‘Night of Actuaries’ go to www.lanuitdesactuaires.com.

To enter, post your joke on the competition Facebook page or email info@gaaps.com by 5 March 2009.